what to say what to say? okay its more like how to say it.
Drama 1:
Every time i see him my world breaks down and I just want to cry and be with him. The worse thing is that he doesn't even care. I hurts so bad it like my heart breaks again and I just finished putting it back together. But no one really undestands why? Hell I don't even understand it. Everyone tells me to get over it but its just not that easy to forget. I wish he knew how i felt. He wouldn't understand it though. I guess it is easier to get over someone if you cut them completely out of your life, but Im not like that! I want him to be apart of my life. But just as a friend. It wont happen though til he realizes what he is doing is childish.
Then there is this other guy that knows me reall well. He can be a jerk yes(I know), but his goods sometimes out weighs his bads. I do find it apalling how he always makes fun of my friends. It bothers me but I wont say anything cause I don't want to fight with everyone, but that doesn't work. Then they both get angered with me if I stand up for the other. It makes me feel helpless. He has told me before that maybe his life would be drama free if he just stoped talking to me and my friends. That made me think, wait what! I cause drama for you what about what you did for me and ***'s relationship!!!! But then he said sorry I was just thinking aloud I didn't really mean it. Then he said if he did stop talking to me he would miss me and I just replied yeah i would miss talking to you too. I want to be with him really bad but I don't want to hurt this other person. I know, I know we broke up and we don't talk but I don't know!? He thinks that I cheated on him with this guy. I didn't!! I really cared about him I would never do that. But its what he thinks and I admitt when I was with him I did have a lil feelings for that other guy but it wasn't big enough that, it would make me do that. But once he broke up with me I started talking to that other guy more and then that when I could really let all those feelings come out for him. But I still wanted to be with the guy that broke up with me I m so damn confused. Right now I just want to be happy and not feel like this anymore.:(
Now on to my friends Im happy for nikki it just sucks that I never really get to see her or hang out with her. Only during school is when i see her. But yea.
Then there is Crystal, glad that she is some what happy but it is wierd that her and Josh are some what together. Did not need to see them kiss yesterday though. Im scarred!
Kelsey wow yea. Robert really likes her its cute but he wont do anything about it cause he doesn't want to get hurt and I don't blame him, getting hurt really sucks. But i don't know what to tell her or him Im just going to let them figure it out. Just like I did for crys and josh. and nikki and kev. now its crys and joshs turn to buttout of my love life. :D plz.
well i got to go and do dishes and take a shower and try and do my homework. but I have to do all this and I m sick I have been trowing up all morning but im some what fine now. lates me.

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