Hey everyone. Okay I am in such a bind. Okay i gave up not talking to matt cuz in the end he turned out to be not a retard after all he. Gave up on brit and they are just friends and I believe him. so yea we have been talking and now things just got fucked up again. Me and sam have been hanging out lately. But on sunday we were watching a movie at my house with the gang. and we were on the bed and he KISSED me. and yes I kissed him back. but i don't know if that was the right thing to do. It was at the time cuz it was what I wanted. but now I don't know what I want. I want Matt but I guess you can say taht I have given him the wrong idea. and with sam I wish that he would tell me what we are. cuz I don't know. Also I haven't told Matt about what sam and I did. Im scared cuz I do care about matt alot but I feel that if i tell him I lied to him and lead him on big time and i don't want to do that. I should tell him soon. and I should confront Sam about what we are cuz I haven't talked to him all day. I guess that you can say i have been aoviding him all day. Gosh I feel like shit. I think that thinking about this im gettin physically sick. my stomache hurts so bad and I feel like throwing up. I hate this I absoulty hate this. I think that I will figure it out in time I guess. so when I figure it out I will post another entry. ~lates~

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